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November 22 21 Nov @ L'infusionEven chance meetings are the results of karma.that things in life are fated by our previous lives.that even in the smallest events there‘s no such thing as coincidence. November 18 i wonder当每天我悠闲的走在去实习的路上 看着地铁里，大街上身边那些匆匆的行人 我都在想，人生的这个过渡，最后到底有没有岸可以让我靠？ 是不是，我跋山涉水了一万公里之后，还要原路返回呢？ November 12 国境以南太阳以西 《South of the Border, West of the Sun》不知道为什么，我总觉得村上的书，英文译本的比中文的读起来更有感觉. 我喜欢的文字似乎还是都比较颓，或许是因为最近在做一些毫无意义的事情吧，每天无情的在侮辱我嘟嘟的智商呐............ this wise book is full of truth: 1.abt oneself... i tried once more, to reinvent myself. Becoming someone new, I could correct the errors of my past. At first I was optimistic: I could pull it off. But in the end, no matter where I went, I could never change. Over and over again I made the same mistake, hurt other people and hurt myself into the bargain. 2.when life went downhill...like what I've been through recently that made me close in on myself even more. A vicious circle, you could call it. I was as if I was stuck inside a well...One thing goes wrong, then the whole house of cards collapses. And there's no way you can extricate yourself. Until someone comes along to drag you out. 3. something is eating me up I'm always feel as if I'm struggling to become someone else. As if I'm trying to find a new place, grab hold of a new lif, a new personality. I suppose it's part of growing up, yet it's also an attempt to re-invent myself. By becoming a different me, I could free myself of everything. I seriously believed I could escape myself- as long as I made the effort. But I always hit a dead end. No matter where I go, I still end up me. What's missing never changes. The scenery may change, but I'm still the same old incomplete person. The same missing elements torture me with a hunger that I can never satisfy. I think that lack itself is as close as I'll come to defining myself. For your sake, I'd like to become a new person. It may not be easy, but if i give it my all, perhaps I can manage to change. The truth is, though, if I were put back in the same situation,i might well do the same thing all over again. 4.abt music... Whenever i heard that languid, beautiful melody, those days came back to me. it wasn't what i'd characterize as a happy part of my life, living as i was, a balled-up mass of unfulfilled desires. I was much younger, much hungrier, much more alone. but i was myself, pared down to the essentials. I could feel each single note of music, each line i read, seep down deep inside me. My nerves were as sharp as a blade, my eyes shining with a piercing light. And every time i heard that music, i recalled my eyes then, glaring back at me from a mirror. November 04 今天前所未有的失落突然发现一件让我无限沮丧的事情：曾经那个勇往直前，不计得失的我不知道跑那儿去了；剩下的这具躯壳看起来很强大，实际上却那么不堪一击......... 这几天，我突然开始特别想念悉尼，想念为数不多的，那几位还在坚持的朋友们 可能是前天面试我的新西兰人，只言片语，却一下子勾起了我无数回忆... 澳洲的夏天到了罢，想起每天LUNCH时候和小王一起去韩国店买SUSHI吃了~~~~~ 想起在小堆家阳台上炭火烧烤~~~~~大家一边喝着小酒儿一边蛋B着，特别是小媛喝点儿酒就特喜庆，好可爱喏，哈哈~~~~~~ 其实，对生活对家人对朋友我始终是怀着感激之心，他们总是给我太多太多 "只有我不想要的，却没有他们不能给予我的"，我一直都知道自己是幸运的 可是，怎么说呢，或许是上苍还不够眷顾，我最最想得到的东西却一直与我擦身而过，或者是失之交臂 |
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